My sweet little lady...

This past week was all about my oldest daughter, Ashlynn. She turned 10, which I find absolutely impossible to believe! But here we are, 10 years after the birth of my special Angel! Today's blog, as you may have guessed, is dedicated to this beautiful ray of sunshine!

The day we met, I felt like I knew her forever already!

As the years have passed, she has always been my little sidekick, my constant source of joy in an often cruel world.

Well, I know the approaching years will be full of, um, drama! For now, though, I will just enjoy every minute that she actually likes me! Hell, I'll grin and bear it as the teenage years approach, but as long as she knows that I love her no matter what, we will get through any of the drama!

For this, her 10th birthday, I was able to do something so incredible for her, that I knew she would just love! I got her tickets to the Jonas Brother's concert! And to top it off, I kept her home from school and we went to a special kickball game featuring the Jonas Brother's VS. Johnjay and Rich (my morning radio show)!

Despite the wretched heat, we had a great time! Front row so she could get a good look at the love of her life, Nick Jonas!

Unfortunately, her dream of him seeing her and falling madly in love and them living happily ever after did not happen! BUT, she did have a great time. By the time we were at the concert, she had proclaimed this to be the "best day of my life", such a profound statement from an old 10 year old!

I certainly hope that she holds these memories close to her heart, I know I will!

Knee deep

Here I sit, my head on the brink of exploding. No, I am not exaggerating, it truly may explode, then you might actually feel bad about doubting me, huh? No, really, I do believe I need to find some way to release this stress that I feel, but there really is nothing. Work out? Sounds like a great idea were it not for this headache, did I mention how bad it is?
So as you may or may not know, times have been tough here (understatement) for our family. Shit, my whole life has been pretty much a great big turd. I'm not complaining, because I really do believe that everything that we go through in life builds us into the type of people that we are. So I would really not go back and change my life, really. Bright spots? Of course I have them, 4 of them in my life to be exact. My husband, well, let's just say that had it not been for him my life would have most likely taken a much darker path. I was a "good girl", while being raised amongst much evil. I had to be a "good girl" or Joe would have wanted nothing to do with me if I even tried to go down the path I would have been headed. And, let's face it, I wouldn't be here in this world with my amazing children if my life wasn't just exactly how it is!
Most of the time, I am able to keep a great, positive attitude. I once worked for this arrogant jerk (I'm not the only one with this opinion of him, and no, he's not the one that fired me last year) that would say in the morning that attitude is the only thing you can fake in this job. I do try to live like that. I know that there's not a lot you can fake in life, but your attitude is definitely one of the things you can fake. And frankly? If you fake it enough, it can actually turn happy. So I do. It's only every now and then, like now, when I let darkness creep in and I do let myself feel hopeless, although only for a little while. That's where I am right now, in the darkness. Wondering why I even try at life? I mean really? For all that I try to do to make life go smoothly it really is anything but. So here I sit. Unlikely that I will actually share my massive problem with the word. Unreal really that I am writing this much, but what the hell, here it is! Today, life =shit, tomorrow I'm sure is another day and I'll be in a better place. I have to be, my little girl is going to be 10 tomorrow, so I know that will be a brighter day for me!