Saturday, January 7, 2012

Sense and sensibility

No, not like the Jane Austen story, but like the kind that I don't exercise nearly as often as I should.  As in, all to often I haz none of that there sense and sensibility, so I'm making an effort here to use some... this time at least!
So I told y'all awhile back that I was registered to run the marathon that is scheduled for next week.  I have been training (outside of my injury that took me out for almost 3 months!!), but it has been hanging over my head if I would be able to get the miles in that I need to do in order to be ready for the marathon.  I simply have not been able to log the miles.  I'm just not where I should be. 
So the time came to decide if I should reconsider racing in the marathon.  I have no doubt that I could do it, finish it, but I know at this point that the amount of walking that would take place is just so much more than I had imagined and that is a serious disappointment.  I have not stopped my training, and am not quitting, but I know that it is not wise to think that I am ready for a marathon. 
To be honest, it was going to be my first race ever.  I haven't been a runner for that long, and when I set my goal for the marathon, I really felt that it was an achievable goal.  Then I fell and hurt my knee.  I wanted to run so bad.  And I just....couldn't.  This sucked so incredibly badly.  But I healed and I still had time to train if I really pushed myself.  Or maybe I was delusional.
I have this habit of doing this sort of thing to myself.  I set goals that are a bit high.  Not that it is a bad thing to set high goals.  This is why I do it.  I aim high.  Go big or go home, dammit! Yeah, there is a history for me of setting goals that I am not able to reach.  My husband knows this about me.  I'm sure he expected it all along really, and I don't mean that in a bad way.  he just knows me well.  He knows I have big dreams and am too stubborn to realize when setting my goals that maybe I should start small.  Its true.  I mean, who decides they want to be a runner (with no real athletic history other than watching sports on television) and sets their first race goal of running a marathon?  Patty does, that's who.
After discussing my running history and training progress with my running friends and my husband, I have decided that the smart thing for me to do would be to set a more realistic and attainable goal of running the 1/2 marathon instead of the whole marathon.  I would be lying if I said that a small part of me is not completely disappointed in myself for having to change this goal.  But I'm just doing my best to ignore that bitch (inside of me) and focus on the fact that I should be proud that I am running, that I will run a 1/2 marathon.  This is a pretty big accomplishment for me, I need to remember this.
Next week, on January 15th, I will run my very first race, the PF Chang's Rock and Roll 1/2 marathon in Tempe Arizona.  I'm not concerned with the time it takes me.  The run is definitely something I can do, and I will have a first official race under my belt.  The first of many....

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