Thursday, December 16, 2010

Holy Sh!T !!!

Well, this is a first for me.....
Christmas is in, what, less then 10 days? Oh my, and HOLY SHIT!!! Freakout will commence very shortly! You see, my preferred method to preparing for Christmas includes me beginning to shop in August or September, taking it slowly. Then, for Black Friday, I get my ass out there (oh yes, I have stood in many a line at 3am to get that awesome deal that awaits!) in the crazy hours that are Black Friday, and I finish up on that day. Maybe I have 1 or two more gifts to buy before Christmas, but no rush really.
Here I am, uncomfortably close to Christmas and would you believe that I have purchase 0 (yes, that would be a ZERO) gifts thus far!!!! WTF???!!! Well, lets be honest here, this has not exactly been a year of happy happy joy joy when it comes to the big financial picture. I have to admit, had things not just recently turned around I don't know that a Christmas would even be possible for us this year, so I am incredibly greatful to the turn of events that has put us in a better place. And this weekend, we will be shopping and getting ready to play santa, but HOLY SHIT, Christmas is so close and I don't want to be out shopping the Saturday before Christmas and OMG I am mucho overwhelmed by the incredibly late start that I am getting for this season!!!
And? For the record, I KNOW that Christmas isn't just about giving gifts to your kids, but who doesn't want to give their kids the kind of memories they deserve? I don't mean spoiling the kids rotten, as I have no intention of doing this. To be honest, I am this close ---><--- to not having Santa come for certain little children who don't seem to behave, thinking that even though Santa knows if they are being naughty they will still receive gifts! I have never done this, but wow, let's just say boys are a different breed!!! LOLOLOL! Nah, my kiddos are good..... as long as mommy is not around!! LOL!
Sooooo, if you are out and about on Saturday, shopping, and you see someone hyperventilating into a paper bag? Yeah, that's prolly me;)
And If I'm not back again before Christmas? ¡Feliz Navidad!

Monday, December 13, 2010

I haven't gone anywhere but crazy my friends:)

I have been terribly lax about keeping this blog up, and that was not the intention! Life just seems to be plugging along and before I know it, it has been forever and a day since I have blogged. But enough dwelling and lets move on already!
Lets do this in a run on sentence, just for shits and giggles, shall we?
My how much has changed, Mia turned 3 (but she is STILL so friggen tiny, but growing and that is all that matters), we moved, Ashlynn turned 11 and started 6th grade at a new school, AJ turned 5, I took a class, I got an amazing job with a great Doctor, we were forced to get rid of dear old Rocky (one of our dogs), Ashlynn made district chior and performed at my old high school for the concert, ummmm, I think that about covers it! The end?
It doesn't really sound like that much when I put in down here, but trust me things have been busy busy busy!
The main thing consuming all of my time, energy and sanity these past few months has been the terrible class I have to take. If you know me, you know the one. The one that I cannot seem to conquer, but of course that doesn't make me give up! But tonight? I feel a bit defeated. I had my final tonight, and I knew that I had to really kill it because this has been a struggle. Strange for me really, because school has never been difficult for me. High school was pretty much a cake walk, damn if I had really pushed myself I can only wonder... College, well that really wasn't so difficult either, it took me forever to get the degree, but that is just because I couldn't dedicate myself to school alone, working full time throughout and starting a family. I don't regret that at all, but that one of the reason's I took so long to finish, the other being that I changed my mind so many times about "what I wanted to be" when I grew up. But this one class? Well let me just tell you it has really been a struggle. I don't know how I did, and I admit I am scared because failure is not acceptable to me and is certainly not an option. The mere fact that I did get one test back this semester that had a 50% on it made me almost die. I'm an "A", even "B" student. By no means is anything below that acceptable and here I sit, praying for a "C" now. Then, just for icing on the cake, I find out that the rush to take this class (it is a 2 semester class) so that I can apply and get into dental school? Well, it sorta feels like it was all for nothing because I cannot even get into the second semester at this point because it is full as is the wait list. So it almost doesn't matter how I did. If I passed, awesome, but then I have to wait until NEXT January to take the second semester, and will I really remember all of this stuff by then? If I didn't pass, well what a fucking waste!
I don't have any plans of throwing in the towel, although it is tempting and easy to quit, but then I would feel like all of the education I have worked hard for would be for nothing because it has gotten me no further then I would be if I hadn't done it. UGH!
So I'm stressed, and that is where I've been.
Tonight, after all of this mess, Ashlynn had a band concert, and I felt terrible because I had to rush to it and got there late. Luckily, I only missed the beginning band and got there in time to see her perform, but it just was not a good feeling as I do not want to be that mom. The one who misses things, and that almost happened. It broke my heart.
So today is over and all I can do is look forward to whatever happens tomorrow. I'll keep my head up and things will be fine, this I believe. And the next post (which will be soon, pinky promise!!).... It will be the fun, happy go lucky me :)

Contact me!

I read all emails I receive and will reply as quickly as possible, thanks!