A brighter day

It has been 1 year. 1 year! That's right, 1 year ago my, strike that, our lives were turned upside down here in mc-mommyland. I was supposed to be on vacation, visiting my husband's family. Something, call it intuition, luck, or kismet, but something made me change my mind and back out of making the drive to California.

Out of the blue, really, I got a call from the office manager to the Orthodontic office I had worked for ALMOST 5 years (July 14 would be 5 years) to find out that they were letting me go. This was July 2nd, 2008. The office was closed for the week, everyone was off work including the Doctor, who just the week before had told me I was "golden" and had nothing to worry about for any upcoming possible lay offs. What was the most important thing on their mind? Firing Patty. What an ass he was, or maybe what an ass I was?
It did come as a complete shock, as I am the type of person who used to give everything I had of myself to my job. I used to put my job above anything else going on in my life. It came 2nd to my family, of course, but if I had to change plans to do something for the office I was more than willing because I knew it made a difference. I was wrong.
What ensued was mass chaos in our financial world. We were barely making ends meet as it was and this was the last straw. I had already been working 2 jobs, Monday-Thursday at the Ortho office, Friday-Sunday at a restaurant waitressing. We were barely making it. I had just quit a 3rd "gig" I had throwing the newspapers for a year. I needed it, but it was a LOT of work, and with the other 2 jobs and 3 kids I had gotten to a point where I knew I needed to take a leap of fate and trust that God would give us what we needed. When I was throwing the paper (300 per day every day of the week with no breaks unless I wanted to pay a sub WAY too much money to cover a day), I was really living on about 3 hours sleep per night. I did not ever let my job suffer, I was on my game when I was there and excelled more then I knew was possible. What I did let suffer was my family, or more my relationship with my family, as I was practically catatonic when I was at home. I also found that driving was getting most difficult, I could barely stay awake when sitting in any traffic. So I quit, even though we needed it, I figured I had to give my everything to the things that mattered and just take whatever life presented. One month later, boy was I in for a surprise when I got that call!

I was out of work for the longest 6 weeks of my life. I finally found a job, it paid significantly less then I had gotten myself up to, but it was a job and I was in serious need of one; not only to put food on the table but also to help my tarnished self image! I took that job and gave it all I had. I loved doing this new position, but after a few months I realized that there was no way we could sustain our life as this place kept doing pay cuts for all employees. With a heavy heart, I decided I needed to find a better job.

The night I made this decision, I stumbled upon what would be where I work now. Call it fate, destiny, or kismet, but now that I am where I am, I can't imagine ever going back to where I was a year ago! The job I am at? It's really a great, happy place to be! I no longer take any issues from work home with me and take them out on the family and am just happy when I am at work! I've got great people surrounding me and feel like I belong.

So this last year? It's been a rough one! I, as a person, have changed imensly. I was forced to look inside of myself, look into my heart, and become the person that I thought I was; that I wanted to be. I was forced to examine my friendships, my abilities, my everything. I did not, and still do not, believe that I was treated right in the whole deal. Even though I wanted to believe that I worked for a great guy, deep down I knew that he was anything but. I do not, however, hold any ill will or bad feelings about the whole situation (a few months ago, I don't know if I could have said that!). In this past year, this family has endured things I did not know we could endure. But we? Survived. We are? Stronger. Me personally? I am trying to just live every day to the fullest.

Right after everything happened, I might have said that no job was worth giving everything you have to it. Because really, when it comes down to it, the powers that be don't really give a shit about you and will cut you when it suits them. This was how I felt when I was hurt and felt my world unraveling. But now? Well, lets just say that I can't live a life where I DON'T give my everything into anything that matters. My children, the love of my life, my job, my friends, anything that matters deserves that best I have to offer.

Now, the only thing I have to change is maybe, just maybe, giving myself that same attention, and caring enough about myself to give my everything to my quest for being the best that I can be, in mind and body. I would say "wish me luck", but really, I know I don't need luck! I just have to set my mind to it and I can accomplish anything I want to, so can you! (scroll for all three photos...)